Learning To Eat, Starting With Breakfast

Late last night I started reading a new book called Women, Food, and God. I also finished it. 

I found out about it during my recent bout with the-cold-from-hell and was forced to never ending days of bed rest and internet hopping via my iPad. Last night, while I was reading the book, I kept underlining sentences that jumped out at me, when it got to the point that I had more than 5 sentences underlined, I started listing the pages that I need to go back to and reread.

Things were getting out of hand. I put my pen down and devoured the rest of the book. Now I am here telling you about it. In a nutshell it is a book for all people who struggle with eating issues. Some suffer with bulimia, others with anorexia. I suffer from neither. Some folks diet hop from one ridiculous encarcerating diet to another making bird food look like a gourmet feast. That is not me either - too much suffering going on there. Some eat without stopping, completely out of control. Not me. So why was this book so awesome for me if I have none of those food issues? I fall into the "and-then-some" category, if there is such a category. I eat, out of pleasure and nutrition, fantastic, healthy food ... and then some. The "and-then-some" has gotten me into trouble so much so that I see that there needs to be a change because it is taking a toll on more than just my continuosly upclimbing size in Levi's. Who am I kidding. I don't even wear Levi's anymore, thank the Lord for Chicos. My problem is that I eat even when I am not hungry. I eat out of boredom (my days aren't my own anymore as I have become a human taxi), frustration (remember I am the parent of two teenage girls), desperation (the economy did a number on us that we are still trying to recover from), lack of a consistent schedule (like most parents driving their children from here to kingdom come with their varied activities), desperation (I feel woefully underutilized in my current mind-numbing role), and I also eat because I have a serious case of "I-just-spent-two-hours-cooking-a-massive-healthy-meal-for-my-entire-family-and-it-is-dinner-time-and-that-is-what-you-are-supposed-to-do: eat-it, plus my blog is about food. Wow. Craziness. It is obvious that all the food that goes in and can be listed on the "and-then-some" side has zero to do with hunger, or rather with hunger for food.

Deep breath. Having begun my other blog, getting an injury and not following through, has me feeling like a loser. You can not imagine how much I have been beating myself up over this. The extra ten lbs. I have gained since my last post there, is solid (my fat is solid at room temperature) proof that I turn to food to sooth whatever ails me ... and I must say my lack of coming through on that blog is definetly ailing me. How to juggle writing about food here, on The Muse of The Day, dealing with not hitting the mark in other areas of my life, and in general the nearing onslaught of menopause and what that means to my weight, has kept me from writing anything near resembling your standard New Year's blog post. Don't feel sorry for me. I don't need sympathy. I need to figure my way out of this damn hole. And so in comes this book, Women, Food, and God. I feel a great sense of relief, now that I can see the path.

Deep breath number two. And so I begin, again, with the brain fog beginning to clear. I know now what I have to do and how to go about it. I won't go into the details of the how-to that are in the book. Suffice it to say, if you need it, the path, buy the book. Read it. Those of you who don't need the help can focus on the second part of this post: a recipe for breakfast granola.

My original post was going to be about Heidi Swanson, of the blog 101 Cookbooks. It wasn't until I started tackling her second book, Super Natural Everyday, that it dawned on me that her cooking is vegetarian. I don't know why it never occured to me. I guess I just didn't miss it, the meat stuff I mean. Her food is good. Really good. Basic and simple. 

I recently made her granola. Like all her recipes, it turned out just the way she said it would.

I tweaked the ingredients a bit by using a variety of dried fruits and I skipped the salt. Not a big enough difference to say I reinvented the recipe, and besides - it's granola. Granola has been around for a long time, there are plenty of recipes out there that are nothing more than variations on the theme.

What I like about Heidi's recipe is that it is not too sweet. Although I have a healthy sweet tooth, I don't want all that sugar in my breakfast. Yuck. Not first thing in the morning.

The recipe makes enough for me to have 2 weeks of breakfast and share a bit too with the rest of the family, although the girls prefer something else.

The thing I like about granola, is actually the fresh fruit I put on top. Try as I may to "go local" I can't resist the blueberries coming from Chile this time of year, or the strawberries that Florida is sending our way.

Granola is not the only thing I like for breakfast, but I liked it enough to paint a recipe card out of it. I tried to make it visually easy to "see" the recipe, so I wouldn't have to "read" the recipe, but rather, at a glance could see what I needed to do with the ingredients. I actually prefer having my recipes on these cards instead of being written out to then n'th degree of precision.

So, I will be here, trucking along, thanking the heavens for aligning the stars for me so that can I relearn how to eat.

Loving all of you,

Carolina

Comments

[Melissa P]

Food is my subconscious pacifier too. If I experience a sudden surge of stress, you can bet there's something already in my hand on the way to my mouth. It is hard to interrupt that pathway to get room for a conscious thought about whether or not the food item is necessary or even healthy. You're not alone in working on the food issues. I'm keeping you company out here.

The granola looks delicious. I just found some gluten-free oats so I think I may need to whip up my own batch.

[Eva]

Food. Such a big topic and a personal one for many. All the best for your journey!

The granola sounds great. I eat muesli every morning. I'm hungry all day if I don't. My father is the same, I learned the habit from him. Love, Eva

[Alicia Armstrong]

Oh Carolina don't beat yourself up(easy to say right), I just don't want us to miss out on "the journey of life" with too much frustration about current circumstance. I think I have this book too, but of course I haven't gotten around to reading it. I need to make this issue a priority in my life, but right now I am enjoying avoidance. I am getting back into a happy place by making time to create and blog, but this will definately be my next area of focus.

Your post is so pretty!! (I need to find some new adjectives) but it is so pretty! You could be a food stylist. Love your recipe cards, they are always fabulous.

Love to you too!
Alicia

[Gabriela]

I love blueberries. Put them in my cereals every morning. What are they called in spanish? Un gran abrazo de Gabriela.

[The Muse of The Day]

The spanish word for blueberries is "arándanos". It doesn't seem right, does it? Mami has friends in Valdivia, Chile that grow blueberries for export to the US and that is what they call it. I believe the arándanos fields are in Panguipulli. TWild berries grow in colder climate (Canada, Maine), while cultivated blueberries can grow in warmer climates. Cranberries are "arándanos agrios". Since "arándano" actually just means "berry" we would correctly refer to blueberries as "arándanos azules", blackberries are moras, raspberries are frambuesas. Other latin American countries refer to it as "mortiño", either way they are delicious. Or should I say delicioso.
Carolina

[Cindy Lane]

Beautiful sketch - it looks like a geology cross section in a jar - just gorgeous!

Don't feel a failure - that's life. I've had some major health issues that have stopped me from exercising for the past couple of years and yes the weight has piled on. It used to freak me out, but I've accepted that there are peaks and troughs with everything, and my fitness will one day be back, along with a lower number on the scales. My remedy? Watch Nigella Lawson.

She's on every Tuesday night and she is a beautifully big, buxom cook and loves her sugar, fat and eating. No guilt allowed in her kitchen, just the joyous preparation of food and the extreme pleasure from eating it!

[Gabriela]

Thanks Carolina. I certainly had never heard of "arandanos". Can you remember "Murtillas", they grow them in Tasmania. Hooray for all the berries!!!!
About Nigella Lawson..........guys drool about her boobs, although some say they are fake.

[Elizabeth]

OK first off, this post snuck by me, or I would have commented ages ago!!!

I think I fit in the same category that you do with food, except I don't eat out of boredom or when I'm not hungry. I was raised to not snack, so I tend to be pretty good about it. My biggest problem is dinner time!! I eat the same thing everyday for breakfast and lunch and make healthy dinners. I finally have tackled not having seconds, and really working hard on portions, but dinner still can be tricky.

We are still going to the Y at least five times a week, but boy the old impending menopause is starting to rear its ugly head, with the inability to shed the pounds quicker.
My doctor was pleased with my last physical in October, and I don't need to go back for two years. I guess I'm doing something right.

I love the granola watercolor, I think when you do a food post, you should ALWAYS have a watercolor :)

I remember all the driving around with the girls, and you feel like you can't even get house work done fully, because it is time to turn around and drive back to school to get them. I'll be doing a bit of that again, as Caitlin goes back to school this coming Monday, and needs a ride there every morning.

Don't feel bad about the other blog, it was a good effort and just one path to what you wanted to do with your health and fitness. A big virtual hug to you and complete understanding.

Glad to see your new post, and boy I better keep my eyes peeled better. I usually see your post on Facebook first, but I missed it.

[Bren]

I made your granola the other day...somehow managed to burn one pan but the other was/is de-lish!
Shine on, Carolina...because you do!

[Amy]

when can i buy the cookbook you put together from all these hand painted recipe cards??

[The Muse of The Day]

Bren - did you remember to rotate the two pans during baking? Sometimes the bottom of my oven heats up more than the top ( I have a standard oven, nothing special, when I grow up I might get a Wolf, an AGA, or some Italian import that hopefully comes with the gorgeous Italian stud to install it), anyways, for now I have to rotate sheet pans when I am cooking things like cookies or granola so that the bottom pan doesn't cook faster than the top pan. The other option is to be more vigilant and take the bottom pan out sooner- this never works for me because as soon as it is in the oven the ONLY thing that reminds to take them out is the timer. I used to set the timer for the first one and then forget to do the same for the second. I lost waaaay too many cookies doing that, so now I rotate the pans halfway through.

Amy- if I have a REALLY good year I hope to put all these recipes together ( in a book) for my girls as a Christmas gift. I have been saying I wanted to do this for years ... It is just now that I seem to be picking up steam. Fingers crossed they will get this gift from me.

Thanks for your comments, I love hearing from you guys, here, on the blog.

Carolina