Dear Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

I got your message on Facebook. You are so thoughtful. I am sure you aren't the only one who has been wondering where I have been this past month. I must say it has been a challenging month.

The colors around me have been spectacular, but it has not been the autumn I hoped for. I have had little time for anything remotely related to this blog. There have been times where I have considered dropping it all together.

I have been putting my fair share of miles on my poor old car and have more than exceeded my carbon footprint this month. My oldest daughter has been quite sick. An ultrasound revealed concerns for her kidneys. The long version: we have been driving back and forth between school & hospitals in Nashville. Several CAT scans, ultrasounds, blood tests, etc. later, we are all still here. The short version: She is going to be OK.

All this driving from place to place has, in a way, been very therapeutic for me. It has been an incubation period of sorts. I got this blog to narrow down a direction for myself. There are times I feel like I have made zero headway with the whole thing, but I can see three possible roads to take. With the little time I actually have to dedicate to my "path", I feel I need to narrow it down NOW. I can stay on the sewing & knitting route, I can paint, or I can cook. You have seen me do all three paths. All I need to do now is pick one to focus on. Got any input?

Melissa P. thinks that things will work themselves out, my husband thinks I just need to focus on getting healthy and losing the weight, my good friend Melisse, from Michigan, feels I ought to get back on the Ill Take The Scenic Route blog, I am certain that my friend, Alicia, has been swallowed up by her new employer and hasn't been able to participate in this dilemma, and to make matters really bad ... my mother just keeps telling me I am doing too much as it is. Ahhhhh. It all just drives me crazy. How can it be that at 47, I am not bright enough to figure this out? I am serious, here. How can that be?

Every day I drive by this house. We have had a few days of wind and rain since I took this picture. This morning I noticed that all the leaves were on the lawn. Nothing was left on the branches. Winter is here. Autumn, my favorite season, passed me by because I was too busy wrapped up in my life.

I obviously am not making progress, here, today on the blog with my decision. I will end it here. Frustrated.

Frustrated until next time,

Carolina

PS - the only question I have to contend with right this very moment is  -  do I just send this to you, Elizabeth? Or do I go ahead and press the "publish now" button and publish my guts out on the blog, on the internet, for everyone else to see as well?

Comments

[The Muse of The Day]

here are some of the comments on Facebook, Elizabeth:

Danielle M Reitchel I vote for cooking....but that's just because i still want some of your recipes.....like the one for tres leche cake.....YUMMY!
about an hour ago · Like

Laura Shirey Frank I think I am a lot like you....too many things that I want to do and not enough time. Right now I have 3 knitting projects going. Then some days, I put my knitting down and spend time really cleaning. Other days, I get in the mood to do some baking/cooking...something that is different from the routine. Most days though, I feel like all that I get done is the usual bed making, dishes and meals. I am at home all day, but keep 2 boys ages 1 1/2 and 3 1/2, so they keep me busy. I don't know about you, but I feel like I have wasted my day if I don't accomplish something...a need to create...whether it is knitting, cooking, gardening, cleaning or even paying bills. I vote to make sure you take care of your health first (exercise and eating well), then spend the rest of your time doing the necessary things that come up and then spending some time doing the things that you love. Love all your pictures! We don't see that kind of colors here in Texas.

This is going to tough. Carolina

[Eva]

Carolina, you are enough. Whatever you do, you are great! Looking forward to hearing from you, in whatever form! Consider yourself hugged! xxx Eva

[Melissa P]

I think you are farther along than you imagine. The simple desire to make the moments count and do, make, create, etc. shows the value you place on Life. You are past the living an Existence part and are now dealing with the living of the Life part.

Even as I hope and pray for answers for you, it makes me feel good to know that you are taking the path less traveled, that I am not the only one out wandering and wondering. I know with a certainty I can't explain that you will give yourself wholeheartedly to whatever decision you make. Don't despair! This too shall pass.

[Bethany]

Please give our best to Nica. Hope we cross paths with you all soon.

[dianne]

Carolina,
I am so glad your daughter is going to be ok. I hate that you and your family went through a torturous month to find that out.
i am not sure you HAVE to focus on one thing. The thing is that all of these things you love to do make you someone people love. You should just be. You don't have to choose. It may be all of those things, it may be none of those things, but someTHING will be right and it will find you.
In my very rare moments of clarity and personal insight, I remind myself of what I tell my best loved friends when they are beating themselves down. I ask them...would you say THAT to someone you love? Of course, the answer is no. My friends would never speak to someone as unkindly as they speak to themselves.
All the best and don't quit blogging...Dianne

[Elizabeth Mackey]

I was so thrilled to see you did a post. I think sometimes, we think no one wants to hear from us, and so we stay away. I know I did my fair share of it this summer. It is still a struggle to figure out what to include and not to include on my blog. I wanted my blog to be a scrapbook of my life, and I can look back at what I did over the year. So, does it mean only the good stuff? I go back and forth, with thinking my blog should only be something someone can take something away or learn something from. BUT when life gets in the way, what do you do?????
I think you should do what ever you want on here, not what we all think. I love all of it though, so like our mothers always told us; just be yourself. I'm trying to do that too.

So sorry to hear of you daughter's medical issues :( It is never good when our children are sick!!!! I hope she continues to get well.

Don't stay away to long my friend!!

I love that you photographed your driving route, it is so beautiful, I could see relaxing and listening to good music on the way.
Perhaps you could do photos of your route as the season changes.

I was on line on and off yesterday, and

[Carole]

Just a word about giving inspiration. Carolina, you sent me a beautiful post card and thanks to you I'm about to finish a ten week watercolour painting class. It has been a wonderful experience, so keep on doing what you do and being you. Thank you.
Carole

[The Muse of The Day]

My goodness, Carole, this made my eyes puddle with tears. I didn't know that I needed to hear that as much as I do. I am grateful to you for letting me know.

Carolina

[Gosia]

Carolina, take care! all the best for your oldest girl + all of you.

[Gosia]

oh! and I do like your new hairstyle.it makes you look 'posh italian'.

[Alicia Armstrong]

Hi. I am actually still alive. I have turned in my resignation (effective the end of January) for one of my jobs, with high hopes of re-entering bloggy land at that point.

My vote, (and I know I don't deserve one) is to please continue the muse. Just post as you can, on whatever subject strikes your fancy at that particular time. Those of us who are here will always be here, checking in. We are patient. I don't think you have to dedicate a path, you are too much the renaissance woman, many skills, many interests, and I love you that way. Your blog is very inspiring, no matter the subject, because it is so infused with "you".

Glad to hear Nica will be okay. Wish I was there to give you a hug.

Alicia

[Amy]

The beauty of having a blog is that it is your own personal space out here in this ginormous universe of internet. It’s yours; it belongs to you and no one else, you created it and you can also take it away. As a fellow blogger, I understand what you type in here; sometimes there just isn’t enough time in the day, week, or month to blog. I stop at least twice a day and think ‘I should blog about that’, but I never do. Lately my blog has been lucky to get 20 minutes of my attention a week. But you know what, when I find the time to actually sit and create a post, and then watch all the ‘hits’ and read the comments people leave on my blog and on facebook, that’s enough for me not to hit the delete button. The Muse of the Day is one of my favorite blog spots, new post or old posts I love reading what you put together and share with us. If it wasn’t for you and the website listed in my address bar right now, my blog wouldn’t exist. And look at that thing, talk about a million different directions, photography, random rants, mommahood, recipes, did someone say multiple personalities? But it’s my blog and all of that that is what goes on in my life so that’s what I write about and it still amazes me that people want to read about it!! So to make a long story short, stick with this blog, we don’t care if you only post once a month or if your post is about painting, knitting, hiking, or cooking, we come here because we love to see what you are doing/creating/thinking. You inspire us in ways you would never imagine.