The Muse of The Day

Breaking My Back And Breaking The Rules

Hi there. Did you think I have been having difficulty with the shade and that is why you haven't heard from me? Although I have encountered a few hiccups that made me do and undo parts of the shade, I finished the shade several days ago.

 

It took less time to finish the actual shade than it took to get the ladder out to put it up there. Do you ever get caught with a project whereby you have done the hardest part and yet one more little hiccup, like bringing the ladder up from the basement, stops the entire event from reaching it's culmination? You would think I would be so excited, once I finished it, to see it up and hanging, illuminated in all it's glory. Not so. It happens that way sometimes. I finish the bulk of a project and I am on to the next.

This time, the next project has been my garden ... well, "g-a-r-d-e-n" is kind of a big word for what I have so far. Two days ago I had this:

Pathetic as my planting bed may seem, this is the photo AFTER I spent several days on it.  I have been walking around like an old lady with severe hunchback because of it. The soil that is there is an amalgam of construction debris and poor quality fill. I have dug up all kinds of things that were probably tossed off the house from different vantage points, flung from scaffolding or the roof, during the construction process and now lay in this house-parts graveyard that I am calling my garden. I remember there were lots of delays around the time we installed the five toilets - most of them went in, but without seats so they would stay pristine until the build-out was complete. When, nearing the end of the project, we finally turned our attention to putting actual toilet seats on the toilets, only four of them could be located. One had gone MIA. I personally searched everywhere for the missing toilet seat. Now, as I dug up this bed with my maddock, I wondered every time I flung it into the soil and it was met by a hard surface, if I had actual finally made contact with toilet seat #5. No such luck.

One day ago, my husband and I went poking about Mary's Greenhouse. It is a very dangerous place to go when back home your planting bed is as sparse as mine. How dangerous, you may ask? Fifty greenhouses, yes 50 greenhouses dangerous. That kind of danger sparks double, and even triple, trips up and down the mountain with the back of the pick up truck totally maxed out.

Now, this garden bed has become my ball and chain. I have a long way to go to reach completion.

It exhausts me just to think about it, but I have been chipping away at it. When it is closer to looking like a real garden, I will rephotograph it and show you what madness 50 greenhouses can do to a person.

The meals around here have been ... mmm, lets say "sufficient". We had a Memorial Day weekend full of get-togethers with friends, and even had unexpected, but very welcomed, out of town guests come for dinner and stay last night. All this has made the progress on the second lampshade quite a bit less feverish than the first, but I have been working on it.

I had this beautiful blue batik in my stash that I could resist no longer.

But if I paired it with another batik, which would have looked cool, it would not have gone well next to the other lampshade in the dining room. The three shades are all in a line so they have to look good together. I have heard  a rule at the quilting store that I know makes sense - put batiks with other batiks, otherwise something about it looks "off". Granted I can see when that rule applies - and for good reason. It just wasn't enough reason for me not to do it in this next lampshade. Florals and batiks are a no-no according to some fantastic quilters I have met.

These are the fabrics in the next shade:

We are just going to have to pretend I never heard them. I can take breaking a rule once I fully understand the rule. My friend, Reed Arvin, says that "Expertise means that we know the rules of a domain so well they've become unconscious. Once we reach this point, we're free; the rules serve us." I fully agree, and I am continuously working towards this in all aspects of my life, and although I am not claiming that I have a full command of anything, especially what fabrics go with what other fabrics, I do know the MOST IMPORTANT rule. That one is simply stated like this:

 

FOLLOW YOUR GUT INSTINCT

 

That is what I am doing with this shade because when it comes to projects like this - ones loaded with twists and turns and a myriad of different options, one can get bogged down in the rules and you can end up quagmired without any F'n lampshade at all - and that is not my goal. I might fail. Sure. But that is the risk I am willing to take. The only real risk is TIME, you know, and I have coddled that long enough. I could sit here, in my studio picking this fabric and that fabric, changing my mind a million times over, believing that in just pinballing myself from one fabric to another and spending time in the studio I am actually being creative when in fact I am not actually creating anything, I could do that in hopes of ending up with the ultimate combination of fabrics for the world's most awesome shade, but I am not there yet. I am not at that point. I am at the point whereby I need to stay focused on more doing (not doing more, there is a distinct difference if you think about it). You can look at it another way: the NEXT shade, combination of fabrics, painting, etc. (insert your "next" here) is the best one because it still exists only as a possibility. In that frame of thinking, well, sweet cheeks, the world is your oyster ... obviously those things that sit in our imagination, only, are engulfed in absolute perfection. The ones that attempt an escape from imagination into our reality are the ones you really have to look up to - those are the ones you had the guts enough to bring to life. Those are the ones that are trying to out-run failure, those are the ones that are knee deep in problem solving shit (excuse my language), but those that are "THIS one" and not "the NEXT one", are the ones I am charging after. Those are the ones that are the steed, I am the knight, if you will, and the rule to follow my gut instinct is my jousting lance. Are you creating the right mental image? If I fail, my armour has to be tough enough to protect me so that I may live to try again.

For heaven's sake, you might be saying to your self, all this from a choice of fabric for a simple little lampshade? Well, it is what is in my head and this is where it chose to come out. Do with it what you will. Break the rules, follow the rules. Those are choices for all of us. The only thing I don't think we really have any choice in, if we are to have any chance of succeeding in our goals, is to follow your gut instinct. Are you with me on this?

 

Carolina

My Mistakes Are All Mine

Each of the members of our family had things to do today so I had the luxury of the house to myself for a bit. I spent it all in the studio. I can't remember the last time that happened, so I shoved my to-do list aside and made a sincere attempt at some progress on the shade I talked about yesterday.

Cutting the doily was scary ... all those loose threads... open and exposed. Yikes! Like my pouring my guts out on the blog; there is serious concern that the whole darn thing will become unraveled and one will permanently reside in the Land of No Return.

My mind was still happily full, from all the creativity that rushed in yesterday, as I tackled the knitty gritty of the project and got down to business. Getting down to business is always the difficult part. While I worked, I enjoyed hearing the "Ping!" of my computer with all of your emails coming in. I tried to answer most of them (I still owe you one Susan, a long one), it was good to have them coming in - they gave me food for thought while I worked on the project. Melissa had also posted about "process" and she and I volleyed the emails a bit this morning.

I had left her a comment regarding the process and how Charles Eames (of Ray & Charles Eames) viewed it. I am paraphrasing but essentially he said "that he spends 1% of his time coming up with a new, creative idea, and the other 99% of the time making sure the product stays true to that original idea. I think that is how it went, perhaps he said it more like he "spent the other 99% of the time chasing the idea and not letting it get away." He was talking about the non creative part of everything Ray and him made as being mostly responsible for the object coming before our eyes." Coming up with the idea is always the fun part.

I thought about this while I pinned my doily to the fabrics so I could sew it into place.

Things didn't go so well. The doily must not have been that "antique" because it had some give to it, almost like as if there was lycra in it. After a couple of hours work, I had a nice wobbly mess.

The mess was an obvious mistake. I had no intention of spending the better part of the day with my least favorite tool in my arsenal: the  bloody seam ripper.

As I worked, I remembered something I had read in the book Art & Fear. It said: "... vision is always ahead of execution, knowledge of materials is your contact with reality, and uncertainty is a virtue." I think I have got the "vision" part and the "uncertainty" part figured out (although the uncertainty part always fools me, perhaps I'll talk about this next time we meet here). What is for sure, and written in stone, is that I have a ways to go on the "knowledge of materials" part, no matter the medium. The mistakes are all mine, if I had found the answers as to what to do and what not to do in this situation, well of course I would have attempted to avoid my blunders. But where do you look for answers to solve mistakes when you haven't even an inkling that you are going to make them in the first place? Mistakes are a given when your knowledge of your materials is flimsy, at best.

I worked through the problem, trying out several options to find one that worked.

So I made mistakes. Big ones. Lots of them. But had I not made them I wouldn't have what I have today. I worked on the process and now I have progress. Or rather, Progress, with a capital "P".

I will continue on this quest for knowledge and realize that my path to succeeding in the realization of my visions is paved with mistakes. My mistakes. For that is where my growth will come from.

Carolina

From Warped To Right

Life has been so warped lately, it is time to get back to normal. School is FINALLY done with and so is my wacko driving schedule. Did you hear me hootin' & hollerin'?

Today I set about making things right again. I want to get back to being me again and doing my creative stuff. It was either that or have a total meltdown. Last night, just before falling asleep, I promised myself that today I would get back to my art. I started off, today, like the good little procrastinator that I am, and cleaned the house top to bottom. Just to vacuum and wash the floor takes me about 4 hours. Mental note to self : "next house, make it small, really small." ... "and make the studio big, REALLY BIG." By the time I was done with the cleaning, the Ellis family needed a feeding, of course. I "threw" down a meal and made a bee line to the studio. If there was even the slightest delay, something might have gotten in my way and I would never be here, in the studio. Let me show you what I have been doing:

I walked around and around the studio in circles. Not quite sure where to begin. I figure I may as well begin by fixing problems.

Remember this?

As I tested different bulbs, going up in wattage, it started to warp.

At first it wasn't too bad, but when I got to 100 watts, the shape of the shade seemed to have a life of it's own. When the light was off it would harden nicely, but as soon as you turned on the heat, well sugar, it was a sad sight indeed. I thought my eyes were tricking me - I would turn around for just a minute or so and when I looked back up at it I could swear it was a different shape.

The entire history of this shade seems to mirror my own life. Well ... all of it needs attention. This amount of warpage, whether in my shade or in my life, simply won't do.

This is were we are at now:

I just gave the shade a major bath. I am cleaning up my act as well. I want to get back to my projects, and I figure that the worst lampshade I can make is the one that never gets done and sits there in a pathetic heap of fabrics. The ugliest painting I can paint is the blank canvas. The worst sketchbook I can work out my drawings on is the one that never gets cracked open. Right? I will discuss this topic, of doing vs. not doing art work, as I putter along on my projects in the upcoming weeks.

Back to fixing problems.

Enter Meliisa P., I won a giveaway on her blog. She has a new website to go with all the fame that is coming her way now that she is hanging with the big dogs of the fabric and quilting world. A note to you - she has loads of free patterns and project how-to's on her website.

This is what I won:

Crazy awesomeness or what? Thank you Melissa!!!

So what am I waiting for I thought? Lets fix that lighting problem. While the old one was drying I pulled out a few of my fabrics that always seem too precious to cut into.

I found a beautiful antique crocheted doily that I can't bare to get rid of just because it has a hole in it.

Added it to a few fabrics I thought might go with Melissa's gifted ones:

And while the old shade is drip drying in the sink, I have started to work on an all new shade.

That is as far as I got today. I figured I would spend the rest of my studio time, while I still had the energy, writing this quick post. Let me add here, that even the simplest of little posts, like this one, takes a long time to do. It is no small feat and I am high fiving myself for still HAVING a blog and still hanging in there, writing to you. I hope you liked what I shared with you today. I will be back sooner rather than later because I am going to try a new blogging tactic. I have had this feeling that I needed to show you only my finished projects. Ridiculous. I had to go back to the beginning, when I wrote my "ABOUT page" and see what my "mission statement" was. If I wait to show you only the finished products, then it is like Kindergarten "Show & Tell" time. This makes it longer between posts. Since I don't make money from my blog, I need to be clear what I use it for. I am here to share my process of how I go about progressing as a creative person and get closer to that mission statement. I need to focus on process, not the products I make, for the "product" is me, the creative me. Staying focused on showing you the process will take me "from warped to right."

I want to be a "Creative". EVERYDAY. That is all. This, this blog, is where you can see the steps I take along that never ending path.

See you soon. Real soon.

Carolina

 

PS. my husband, who can screen share our computers, just called me from the other room saying his "stomach is warping and it needs to go from "warped to right" and he is wondering if my mission statement has any mention of what is for dinner." That is my life, ladies!

Gentlemen, DON'T DO IT

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Now a note for the guys out there:

Dear gentlemen,

Don't do it. Don't give your lovely wife a new vacuum cleaner on Mother's Day ...

 

unless you absolutely know, 100%, that your wife can see the true goodness in your heart and she adores you ...

like I adore my husband.

100%

 

Carolina

 

You Have To Go

I am grateful that you all have been so patient regarding my post of the last big trip I took. I put it on my blog, I'll Take The Scenic Route. I think the post of my epic trip really belongs on that blog, and not here on the Muse.

Sorry to make you click on the link, but I think it will be worth your while to do so.

Thanks for checking in,

Carolina

A House For My Banana Bread

Just a quick post today with a thought I had.

I made our Banana & Oatmeal loaf over the weekend because the temperature had dropped and it just felt like the thing to do. Our recipe has rolled oats in it, making it a bit more dense and a little less "banana-ee". It is a bit drier than what I normally find in bakeries, and we like that about this recipe. Everybody in our house, though, likes it a bit differently. Some like it with walnuts, some without, and I happen to like it with walnuts and a layer of cranberries on top.

Either way you like it, all the loaves disappear within a couple of days. My girls take it to school as an after school snack, my husband eats it after dinner while watching TV, and I ... well ... lets just say it is a good thing I have my own loaf.

When I take a piece to the studio, I do it up right and serve it on my favorite tray.

I really like this tray because of the image on it - totally not the way my actual house is but soooo totally easy to imagine myself living in it and eating my banana bread in it, sitting by a cozy fire while looking out at the ocean beyond my window.

The house is typical of houses on Martha's Vineyard Island, were my folks live. I know these next sentences are going to sound horrible, but I have to share it. Somewhere in my brain there is a place where "what if total doom happened, then I would..." kind of thoughts reside. Well if there was such a day, when reality as I know it ceased, then I would move myself into a place like this - cedar shingled, with a dutch door to open so that the ocean breezes could make the curtains billow, tiny, completely able to be cleaned in a morning, with overflowing flower boxes, electric blue hydrangeas at the front, rambling roses everywhere, good books stacked to the rafters, and a large table, with all my painting, sewing, and knitting supplies, abutting the windows that face the ocean. As I worked on my projects I could watch the ferry taking tourists back and forth to the mainland in summer, and us islanders to "the United States" in winter. The kitchen would be just big enough to make a few scrumptious treats including this banana bread recipe. I would eek out a living on the island with a little store called "Sweater Weather". The sign for the store wood be outlined in gold. Beneath it would be a second sign that would read "a place for wool and a cup of tea". Perhaps the store would be in town, or perhaps it would be adjacent to my little home. I don't know, for sure, but it is nice having a little place in my brain for that dream. I blame having that little space in my brain, where I squirrel away these kind of visions, squarely on my upbringing in the 70s. Back then, you see, we had the Sear's Wishbook, a catalog of Christmas gift ideas put out by Sears. We used to get everything from Sears back then - from our washing machine to my red plaid bell-bottom Toughskin jeans. Even our fake Christmas tree came from Sears. I remember how dog-eared the catalog would be by the time Christmas finally arrived. On Christmas day, we would rush to open our presents, forgetting all those things we had wished for and so very appreciative for whatever we got. Still. Dog-earing the pages with the country styled guitars and the pogo sticks created a pastime for me that I still depend on for relief. Hence the little vision of this house for the banana bread. 

Back to reality and my version of banana bread:

Can you see the recipe well enough? The collection of watercolored recipes is growing.

Hope so.

Carolina

I feel like I may as well right it out for you. I wrote the recipe out on the watercolor paper, the same way as here, with the exact order I do my steps and with the minimum amount of utensils. It erks me when recipe writers tell you you need to spray a pan almost at the end of a recipe, blend dry ingredients first in separate bowls, then get another bowl out like you have the time to wash them all. I know my girls (& myself), if we are going to cook, we are going to do it the easiest way possible and that is why I wrote the recipe in this order. 

Banana & Oatmeal Bread

• Preheat oven to 350°F  (180°C)
• Coat 4 small loaf pans (4"x8") with cooking spray
• In medium size mixing bowl, use fork to:

                -mash 4 large,old bananas

                -mix in 4 eggs

                -add 2/3 cup buttermilk

                -1/2 cup vegetable oil (canola)

                - 2 tsp. vanilla extract

• Stir well to combine with spoon or spatula then add

              - 3 cups all purpose flour

               -1 cup sugar

               -3 tsp. baking powder

               -1/2 tsp. baking soda

               - 1/2 tsp. salt

• Combine well, then add:

                -1 1/2 cup regular rolled oats

Divide into loaf pans and bake at 350° for 40 minutes

• to loaf pans getting walnuts, mix walnuts into batter before filling pans
• top with frozen cranberries, if desired, after loaf pans are filled then bake the same way :
• 350°F (180°C) for 40 minutes
• check for "doneness" with a baking straw

Good luck with it. I think you will like it.